Put your hands right into it, and with your opposable thumb and index finger, squish the chunks. They are soft! They break down into soft clay-like powder that makes the kettle water milky. Keep scraping and squishing.

Friends: you have just cleaned your kettle. DIY high five!

Friends: now go outside, with said kettle in hand, and water your goddamned little carrot patch.

Friends: you have just "sweetened" your soil. Whoot whoot.

Friends of the earth: It has not involved plastic or driving your car or going on the internet for the 78th time in a day.

Friends of the Carrot World: They are now happy as hell and, so will you be, and your human bones, when you eat them. They will be SWEET. And all that beautiful calcium that you offered them as a gift from the Arkell springs, from the ancient limestone ocean floor of the Jurassic epoch, will be absorbed through your miraculous stomach and guts and find its way to your bones. The bones of your children. Then, when we humans turn into compost, there it all goes back into the good bones of the Earth. Sweetness. Maybe that is what "sweetening the soil" means. I think the ancestors are laughing at us for taking so long to figure it out. We love you, Earth. We are a part of you. We always have been and will always be. (We just forget sometimes, how much)

Signed, The Art of Soil Collective.

PS See how you didn't need to get in your minivan and drive to Rexall or Shoppers Drug Mart to buy calcium supplements? (Centrum 18.99$ in plastic useless bottle, or Tums chewables (2.99$ taste like shit) or the "natural" kind from AlgaeCal for 89.99$, also in bad bottle that will gostraight to the landfill).